The times have changed. Long gone are the days of soap box preachers warning against the dangers of Rock ‘n’ Roll. It is now the atheist who needs a watchful eye, careful not to indulge in the sweet sounds of “Christian Rock.” This Craigslist ad that we stumbled across speaks for itself so read on and enjoy.
After hearing the final fading notes of their set from a urinal in Tucson’s Hotel Congress, I decided to give this mystery band a chance and bought their entire discography (because the Hotel Congress is cool, so they must book cool bands right?)
The album art was gorgeous and it felt pretty good traveling home with a stack of fresh vinyl (plus one CD). I was hoping for treasure, but would have been ok with less.
Upon my return, I set the first disk on the turntable and began unpacking in the next room. From what I could hear it was kind of ok…a sort of psychedelic rock sound with unintelligible vocals. Unintelligible until I began to pick out the words, “King, King of Kings…” repeated over and over. “What is this?” I thought and went to the living room for a closer listen.
Sure enough those were the words.
I picked up the record sleeve and found lyrics printed inside.
OK so I was wrong. It was actually “King O King” (like Fillet-O-Fish), but anyway, WTF? (See attached image of liner notes).
It dawned on me then that in my effort to give some unknown but seemingly rad group a chance, I had inadvertently purchased the entire discography (or at least everything available at the merch table that night) of a Christian rock band.
I am decidedly non-Christian. In fact, I am sure that all religion is nonsense.
If you feel differently and would like to taint your mind with mediocre musical delusions (wrapped in admittedly beautiful cover art), drop me a line and I’ll place these somewhere discreet so you don’t have to be embarrassed when you pick them up.
If you are wondering about Wovenhand, you can check them out here. David Eugene Edwards is an amazing artist who, ironically, has a predominantly non-Christian following. He also wouldn’t call his music “Christian Rock.”